June 4th 1:38 AM
Fear.
Of the Unknown, of the dark shadows underneath,
those that might come up to the surface,
those that might take me in my sleep,
those that lure behind corners and
wait for just the right time
to shake me up, make me loose my equilibrium.
Fear.
To fall and break my back,
to be too weak to get up again,
to lose my voice and have no strength
to call out and stand my ground,
to loose myself in the midst of too many
pieces that could be and become
me.
Fear.
Of making mistakes and landing
in a spiral of uncontrollable events
Fear of myself;
because maybe the shadows aren’t shadows after all,
but rather the projections of my mind,
the maybe’s and but’s and possibly’s.
The idea that there might be something there.
The idea that I might be weak.
That in the end the past is quicker than the future
and the memories darker than the light of the present.
Fear,
that facing myself is the scariest thing I have done,
Fear,
that even after facing myself part of myself will still be dead,
Fear,
that the dark will always be pitch black,
Fear,
that I will remain inside the comfortable circle I have drawn
Fear,
that I will never know who I am.