So, tell me.
Is it right for me to stand up for myself?
Should I feel proud?
Or should I crumble beneath my disrespectful attitude,
robbing myself of the inner voice that whispered that YOU had no right
to treat me like a toy,
without feelings.

Tell me.
Am I overreacting?
Well, I should have protected my feelings.
But how was I to know that you interest in me
was so incredibly superficial,
so grossly simplistic.
Just that one dance, just that one kiss.
I should have known,
shouldn't have gotten carried away
by the happiness of the moment, thinking that maybe
you actually thought more of me than just the moment.
That maybe you would like to see me again

Of course, I forgot.
That's not how it works, is it?
Why would you play the conquistador
and secretly care?
Deep down, I knew. But I thought I didn't care.
I fooled myself, in the end.
Of course I cared. I  still do.
I feel my inner senses longing for you,
looking for you in the crowd.

As if I could change what I said.
As if you would change your attitude,
 after what I threw at you with dirty words,
When not even before you cared.

NO.
My strategy is wrong!
I am proud that I called you out for being an asshole and playing with me.
I don't care if that's your culture. I felt violated.
And I had the right to tell you.
Even if I felt shitty after.
Now I know. To express my anger in a nicer way.

Truth is, I only want to apologize because I think it will give me a chance,
that maybe he will then see me.
That's not what I want.
I don't want to compromise my self and my feelings because of a guy who doesn't even have the decency to value me in the first place.